Just Say "No" to Additional Obligations

Suggestions for Setting Boundaries

Although you may like to be a people-pleaser, saying yes can actually back-fire and leave you feeling taken for granted, overwhelmed, angry, or stressed.

Hopefully life won't always be this busy, but right now you need to acknowledge your personal limits. It's important to set priorities based on your goals and values. The rest will have to wait for another time.

If you are approached about helping a friend move, but doing so will mean that you will have to stay up into the wee hours of the night studying, it's okay to say no. Saying yes could lead to sleep deprivation, resulting in getting sick. This domino affect could hinder everything you are trying to accomplish right now and you could end up sacrificing a lot more than just a few hours of your Saturday afternoon.

Not only is it okay to say no, but sometimes it is necessary for your own success. Below are some considerations for limiting additions to an already busy schedule.

Focus on how you are able to help.

One way to avoid the guilt of saying no is by not saying it at all.

Instead of commenting on what you can't do and why, focus on what you can do. Maybe this means helping, but to a lesser extent. Perhaps this means taking on more of a commitment, but deferring it to a later date.

Put a positive spin on your response. You won't have to be apologetic or commit to more than you are able to manage.

Say no—nicely.

It can be difficult to respond with a simple no. It may feel awkward, aggressive, or uncomfortable though completely necessary.

When saying no, have empathy for the person who needs your help, but keep your priorities in mind.

People probably come to you often because you are reliable, responsible, and follow through with tasks no matter what the cost. If you are taking care of work, your family, and school, you may not be able to keep up the same level of commitment. Be sure to communicate your schedule to others. They will understand.

Remember to be assertive and kind. Your needs must be met before all others!

Become a master negotiator.

When you are faced with situations where you can't say no, negotiate to lighten your load.

This is typical in work-related situations. You may not have the option to opt out of certain responsibilities, but speaking up may make things easier. Explain to your boss that you want to do a top notch job and ask for extra time to make that happen.

Another option is to team up with a coworker. Pairing up with someone else doesn't automatically cut the workload in half, but will provide support when you need it.

In regards to juggling projects at work, present your priorities to your manager. "I'm happy to oversee this new project, but it means I will have less time to spend on my other tasks. Is this change okay?" By articulating your time constraints, your superior(s) will be able to reconsider what they have assigned you.

Delegate to others.

If you are accustomed to running the show—at home, at work, in your organization—you may feel you are the only person capable of handling everything.

"I have to do it myself because no one else can."

Avoid putting excessive pressure on yourself and delegate your duties to others. Though delegation can feel more like additional work than help, you will be doing yourself a big favor in the long run.

If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed with tasks, go ahead and pass the torch to someone else. A new person may not complete your duties in the same way you did, but as long as the tasks are accomplished, it shouldn't matter.

Sometimes letting certain responsibilities go is the best method to greater productivity productive in other areas.

Avoid open-ended or ongoing commitments.

Okay, so you got talked into helping with your daughter's PTA group. Instead of chairing a specific committee, only agree to take on very specific tasks with definite starting and stopping points.

Sign up to help with a bake sale or volunteer to help set up for a dance. Rather than coordinating the snack duties for entire season of youth soccer, only volunteer for bringing snacks to one single game.

Avoiding ongoing commitments will help you plan your schedule and manage your time better.

If you say yes, think it through.

If you find yourself tempted to say yes, consider all aspects of the decision and the effects it may have on your routine or personal schedule.

Consider a situateion where a friend has been asking to bring the kids together for a play date. You have a few hours free this weekend and getting the everyone together sounds like fun.

Take a moment and consider the benefits and downsides of the situation. It may be worth it to relax with friend. Do you need time away from work, household chores, and assignments?

Some cons may be that you were thinking about getting caught up on laundry, outlining a paper, or simply having time alone.

Maintain control of your time. Feel free to say yes when you have the opportunity. Just think it through to make sure you've considered everything and maintain control over your schedule.