How to Cope with a Fear of Failure
Shelfing Your Fear of Failure to Succeed at School
Going back to school is a time of great stress. In addition to all the responsibilities you already have — kids, spouse, work, place of worship, and more — you're taking on something new, and it's something that will require a great deal of dedication. Moreover, school is expensive, and while it's an investment that can pay off handsomely over your lifetime, if things don't go as planned, if you fail at being a student, then the repercussions will be serious. Because of this, the fear of failure can be quite understandable.
But if you've made the decision to return to school, then you've decided to take control of your own life despite that fear. That being the case, you need to make sure that fear doesn't undermine you, that you control it, rather than it controlling you. And the good news is that there are a number of things you can remind yourself that will help keep that fear in its place and even allow you to benefit from it.
In other words, you should remember that fear isn't necessarily a bad thing. If you have an irrational, uncontrollable fear of failure, a condition called atychiphobia, that's one thing. But a normal fear of failure can be healthy provided that you use it as a motivator rather than allow it to paralyze you.
How Can Fear of Failure Can Be a Good Thing?
Well, it can help keep you motivated to stay ahead of deadlines, polish written assignments so that you know that they're at their best, keep you from skipping opportunities to study for exams, and generally make sure that you operate with all cylinders firing.
But being able to use that fear of failure constructively requires keeping it in check. To do that, start by remembering that mistakes aren't just inevitable — they're beneficial. Thomas Edison tried and failed to create a practical light bulb hundreds of times before succeeding with the right carbon filament, but he understood that each of those failures were informative, in that they pushed him in the direction of a better solution. His fellow inventor Benjamin Franklin understood this too, when he remarked that “I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” This business approach to failure is still woth us today, as seen in companies like Google which have a “fail early, fail often” approach to innovation – they understand that only by trying new things, some of which are bound to fail, can they find the exciting new developments that can succeed.
Good Planning, Communication Minimize Chance of Failure
But there are steps you can take other than just remaining philosophical in the face of failure. After all, it's still wise to minimize unnecessary mistakes. As a student, you can do this by making sure that you have done as much planning as possible in advance to ensure that you have the best chance for success. Be proactive when it comes to dealing with your school about any issues, such as a missing textbook, expected period of unavailability, or other situation that might impact your success. Set up a time in the day that you dedicate to your studies and assignments, so that you are used to getting into the studying mindset when that time comes. Communicate with your instructor to make sure that you are completing assignments in the fashion that he or she expects. By this sort of planning, you can maximize you chance for success as a student, which will help you control your fear of failure.
Are Your Fears Valid?
But even the best laid plans can go awry. How do you know when your fear may be justified and how should you react? It may help to speak with your spouse, friend, parent, or other person you trust, talk to them about your fear and why you feel it, and get feedback from that person on whether your feelings are justified. You may find that those who know you well have more confidence in you than you have in yourself, and that may place your fear in perspective so that you remember that you have the capacity to overcome it and succeed despite it.
No one likes to fail, particularly as a student, with all the weight that society places on academic success. You may be afraid to fail, and if so you're not alone, especially when it comes to going back to school anxiety is a very common reaction. But by not taking that fear personally, by keeping the chance of failure in perspective, and by remembering that setbacks aren't the end of the world, you can control your fear and succeed at what you've set out to do. After all, as every boxer knows, failure isn't getting knocked down – failure is making the decision not to stand back up.
More Self & Family Articles
Making Back To School a Family Affair
 |
|
|
