A Busy Dad's Balancing Act
- Affirmation for busy dads
- Strategy for a smoother work-life/home-life balance
- Parenting tips that are rooted in the real world
Being a dad is not easy. The instant your child is born, your life changes forever. Your priorities change and your responsibilities seem to double. Housing, groceries, clothing, and healthcare: it’s a lot to manage.
If you’re like many dads today, you’re much more involved in day-to-day parenting than the fathers of generations past. And when you add fatherhood to a fulltime work schedule, it can be difficult to walk the line between calm and chaos. Here are some guidelines to work from, as you juggle the various aspects of your most important role.
Communication Is Key
Your family, of course, is your first priority. But in terms of actual face time, your family may be last in line. It’s okay to divide your time among your different priorities. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about a long day spent at work, followed by several hours at the library or with your study group.
However, it’s very important that you communicate your priorities to your family. You know why you’re working so hard, but do your kids understand? Is your partner on board with your schedule? Unmet expectations can lead to tension and hurt feelings, so be honest about timeframes. Dedicate one afternoon each week to an activity that your whole family can enjoy. Help younger kids to wait patiently with a clearly posted calendar that highlights family day.
Multitask Like a Pro
For some reason, multitasking seems to be a term that’s only associated with busy moms. But dads are some of the best multi-taskers. We can read the newspaper, cook Sunday breakfast, and meet the Fantasy Football trading deadline – all before most moms are out of bed. Still, there are some tricks to successful multitasking. Don’t compromise on activities that require your full attention – e.g. important conversations, or caring for a young child. But be willing to relax your standards on arbitrary items – e.g. how well the laundry is folded, or how many nights you eat instant rice.
Do Not Take Work Home
Depending on your job, you may be responsible for “homework” that extends into your off hours. Whenever possible, double your productivity at the office, so you can avoid those extra snippets that tend to follow you out the door. Most places of employment don’t pay you for after-hours dedication, anyway. If you’re not getting compensated, don’t give up your valuable family time.
Keep a List
When you leave the office for the day, sometimes it’s difficult to let your mind escape all those pending assignments. Even if you’ve resolved to leave your work at work, you may find that your thoughts are wandering towards work-related matters, when you’re supposed to be concentrating on your loved ones. Keeping lists is a good way to shut off a complex line of thinking. You can jot down the problems that need to be resolved, along with possible solutions. That way you’ll leave your desk without the anxiety that you’re forgetting something crucial.
Include Your Family
Including your kids in your everyday activities, such as running errands and doing yard work, is not the most exciting way to spend time together, but it’s better than not connecting with your children at all. Initially, kids may reject the chores you suggest. But if you’re sincere about working together and making the activity fun, they’ll come to enjoy the extra time. Car rides are great for quality conversation. And household chores lend well to music and singing. However you include them, make sure you thank your kids for their help and their time. After all, you’re not the only person with his own agenda.
Neal Applin lives in Toledo, Ohio with his wife and four children.
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