Taking Care of Mom
- Schedule a time you can enjoy by yourself
- Make an effort to make your needs a priority once in awhile
- Occasionally invite your children to join you as you rest and relax
Moms know their busy schedules should include time they call their own, yet they struggle to make this happen. There always seems to be something more pressing to get done. Often they put aside the notion of free time one day hoping to make up for it the next, but unfortunately this rarely happens.
The reason mom time is so important is because of the roles moms fill. They are the ultimate caregivers, meeting the needs of others on a 24/7 basis. With a schedule that includes cooking, scheduling appointments, running errands, cleaning, working, managing a household, and caring for kids, shouldn't they get a chance to recharge their batteries?
Although moms may think that skipping out on free time and getting something else done instead will make them more productive, the truth is that this quickly leads to burnout. A nonstop, on-the-go schedule that consists of meeting everyone else's needs and ignoring your own will leave you feeling angry, exhausted, stressed, and spent. You don't need any grand plan, just a simple commitment that starting today you will start making time for mom.
Finding Time for You
Getting in a little mom time doesn't mean you have to put everyone and everything else on the back burner. You really just need a little preparation. Some considerations include:
Take Advantage of the "Free Child Care"
… while your daughter is at a birthday party. This two hour time slot is the perfect amount of time to get in a great workout and take a relaxing bath.
Bring a Novel to Read While You Get the Oil Changed
Even if the mechanic is at the top of his game and completes a speedy oil change this will still give you enough time to read a few chapters and "escape" to a different place for a bit.
Get Up Before Everyone Else
Even rising twenty minutes earlier than the rest of your family will give you the chance to start your day on a peaceful note before you start meeting the demands of the day.
Schedule It
Taking time for yourself is just as important as anything else you put on your schedule. If you have a tendency to put yourself last then make sure "me time" is etched in stone. Then treat that just as you would any other item on your to-do list.
Take It When You Most Need It
At the end of the day may be the most obvious time to take a break for some personal time, but if you need it earlier than that then take it. Calling up a friend to chat in the middle of the day may be just the break you need to get through the "second shift." Pay attention to your fatigue and stress levels and take your break when you need it, not just when it's most convenient.
Communicate Your Needs
Children aren't going to automatically understand your need for a break and may try to convince you that their needs are more important. Explain to your children:
- What you are going to do to take a break (e.g. meditate in your room)
- Why you're doing it (e.g. you need to take a break so you'll be in a good mood later)
- What is expected of them (e.g. they can watch TV quietly and you aren't to be interrupted unless it's an emergency)
- When you'll be back (e.g. when the timer goes off in fifteen minutes)
Make Someone Else a Part of Your Free Time
If you are afraid you won't keep a commitment with yourself, make it with someone else. Take a fitness class with your sister or an art class with a friend. You'll be less likely to skip out on your personal time if it means bailing on someone else.
You Don't Have to Exclude Your Kids
Although it's a good idea to have some alone time at least periodically, your downtime can include the rest of your family. The key is to do something that brings you joy and helps you shake off the stress you're your responsibilities. So go ahead and let those dirty dishes sit and play a game with your kids instead.
It Takes Practice
All habits take a bit of practice for them to become regular. Focus on how good you feel right after your downtime and keep at it. Before too long taking time for yourself will be a part of your daily routine.
Vary Your Activities
Even with a busy schedule you can get bored with "mom" time. Keep a list of a variety of ways you like to spend your free time to make sure you always look forward to it.
Remember taking time for mom is as important as cleaning the house, cooking meals and helping kids with their homework. If you have a hard time doing this then remember that, for no other reason, you should take care of yourself so you can take better care of others.
Jennifer Applin is a freelance writer and will soon be the mother of six young children born within a 5-year span. Her writing focuses on strategies for busy parents to juggle it all.
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