The Care and Feeding of a Great Babysitter
- A good babysitter (that the kids like) can be hard to find
- There are methods for finding a suitable sitter
- Show your appreciation in small yet meaningful ways
All working moms with younger kids know all too well the importance of child care. When you add taking online courses to the mix, finding a good sitter is vital!
Here are a few suggestions to make sure you hear "Yes!" when asking someone to watch your children:
Everyone Will Be Appreciative If You…
Do the prep work.
Don't save feeding the kids, bathing, and cleaning up for the sitter if you can avoid it. You are used to the fatigue that comes with caring for your children, but someone else probably isn't.
Try to do the "heavy" child care duties yourself.
This will allow your sitter to the spend time with your children doing something they will all enjoy like playing games and reading books. This creates a more enjoyable situation for everyone.
Provide clear instructions.
Don't give your kids a chance to fool the sitter into letting them get away with things they shouldn't.
Be clear about the plan for the time you'll be gone and let your kids know there will be consequences if they don't follow the instructions. Writing all of this down can help your sitter reinforce the rules and keep your kids in line.
Watch what you say about the sitter in front of your kids.
- "Why did mommy say she thinks your new haircut makes your face look fat?"
- "You can't eat us out of house and home this time."
What you may never have intended for your sitter to hear may come flying out of your preschooler's mouth. So bite your tongue in front of your children and go online instead to rant about your babysitter.
Be home on time.
Sitters often anxiously watch the clock, so don't be late. Refrain from calling to ask permission to be out later than you initially stated. Your sitter will most likely say yes to be nice, but won't be happy about it.
Realistically anticipate how long you'll be gone and stick to that time. Also, if you're picking your child up at someone else's house, be prompt about leaving.
If you spend much time chatting with the sitter any children around may take advantage of the fact that the adults are distracted and start acting up. It is better to pick up your children and make a smooth and stress-free exit.
Cast your net far and wide.
People have a hard time saying no, even when they want to.
Even paid sitters get frustrated when they are asked to watch your children over and over because they may not feel comfortable declining. It is best to have a long list of providers when lining up child care help.
Friends, family, neighbors, and teens are the obvious choice, but there are other options too. Calling the early childhood education programs at your local college or university may yield a few potential sitters who have great references and experience.
Any child care providers at your local YMCA or fitness center may be looking to pick up a few additional hours of work. It never hurts to ask.
Putting up an ad at a trusted location like a church or with a local mom's group may be a great way to add a few names to your list. Also, don't forget to check out your local phone book.
A drop-off child care center may have opened up at a nearby location. These centers tend to be a little more expensive, but you can't be the flexibility and their extended hours.
Don't Forget the Teens
If you are looking for a sitter you'll most likely start calling all teenage girls you know. Don't be surprised if you have a hard time lining someone up.
The window of opportunity from the time adolescents are old enough to babysit until they get a "real job" is small. Add this to the increasing number of teenage school activities and social calendars (which pale in comparison to most adults!) and you'll find a shrinking pool of available teen babysitters.
So once you find a great sitter it is not enough to just pay her well. Here are a few suggestions to get an edge on the competition:
Teen Sitters Will Be Happy If You…
Allow your sitter to bring a friend.
Allowing her to bring a friend can be a real bonus. The friend can help with the child care duties and keep your sitter company.
You don't have to pay extra for this additional person. Just pay the same hourly rate and they can divide it up if they choose. An additional benefit is that this friend may become another potential sitter.
Have plenty of snack food around.
This doesn't mean that you have to make a big grocery run before the sitter arrives, but have some snacks around that teens typically enjoy. Just because you are on the latest tofu health kick doesn't mean that she is.
Have some soda and a bag of chips available for her to munch on, and let her know her that she's welcome to it.
Rent your baby-sitter a movie.
No cable? Rent a movie to entertain her while you're out late.
Pick out a few popular titles (check for the appropriate age rating) and ask her ahead of time which she'd like to see. Once the kids are in bed this can help pass the time if you're out late.
Monitor your alcohol consumption.
Are you thinking about going out with friends to celebrate the completion your good grade in a class? If you plan on drinking, think again.
One of the worst things you can do is drive your sitter home when you are under the influence of alcohol. Don't put this young teen in the position of determining whether you are sober enough to get behind the wheel.
Chances are she won't say anything because she will not want to be confrontational. Plus she may not know you well enough to analyze your behavior to determine if you are sober enough to drive.
Watch how much alcohol you consume (or better yet, don't drink at all) to avoid a dangerous and possibly illegal situation.
Pay extra when appropriate.
Although single mothers rarely have money to burn, certain situations do warrant paying a little extra.
These "special circumstances" could be times when the baby is teething, the toddler is potty-training, and the 2nd grader insisted he's allowed to roller-blade in the house. A little extra compensation goes a long way when your "little angels" are being anything but.
Also if your sitter saves you time and the hassle of driving, tipping a little extra to cover the cost of fuel may be appropriate.
"Free" Child Care
Well, there may not really be such a thing as free child care, but there are ways to keep your hard earned dollars in your pocket and still receive great child care.
Trade off.
Watch your friend's kids for a few hours and later she can watch yours. If your children are the same age and play well together this may seem like a breeze. Your children will be entertained and you may even be able to get a few household chores done while they are playing.
Swap services.
You need to study late at the library. Your elderly neighbor needs someone to shovel her driveway. Sounds like a perfect scenario.
Your can take care of her driveway and she can hang out at your house while your children sleep and you study. Swapping services isn't hard, it's just about being creative. Others services you may be able to provide include:
- lawn care,
- pet-sitting,
- dog walking,
- cooking,
- cleaning,
- or perhaps something related to your job or area of study.
Help someone fulfill their service project.
Most students in private middle school or high school must complete a certain numbers of hours for their community service project requirements. Also many churches having a running list of members of their community who could use some assistance and encourage members of their church to help out.
Helping a single mom further her education and build a better life for her family is a very worthy cause. Simply by putting your name on some of these lists you may be able to meet some of your child care needs for free.
Give a tween get valuable experience.
Many tweens (11- and 12-year-olds) want to start babysitting but don't have enough experience yet. By allowing them to come over and entertain your children while you work on the computer is a win-win for all.
They get the needed experience in an environment where there is still a responsible adult around to help out if needed and you can tackle your pressing assignments.
If you can't think of anyone who may want to do this try calling your local Red Cross and ask them to pass your name around to those taking the babysitter certification course.
Go the extra mile.
Many single moms have a support system of kind souls who help them out never expecting anything in return. Even though they aren't expecting any sort of compensation you can show your appreciation in a helpful way.
Double your dinner recipe and bring them a meal. Offer to run errands for them when you're already going out.
Showing your appreciation in small and simple ways can keep everyone feeling the love and keep a good thing going.
Jennifer Applin is a freelance writer and will soon be the mother of six young children born within a 5-year span. Her writing focuses on strategies for busy parents to juggle it all.
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